Learning to Accept

Acceptance does not mean we agree with something or stand by something someone did. Acceptance means we accept things for what they are, accept things that are out of our control and we release anger, resentment and anything that may bind up our own energy around the situation or experience. Easier said than done. However, learning to accept is a practice and something we can improve over time.

I see a lot of “let go” of things but how? We can only let go of something once we have acknowledged and accepted it. We cannot move forward without acknowledgment and acceptance. Through both, only then are we are then able to alchemize and integrate the experience, the situation, the letdown, the disappointment, and the heartbreak. This creates the space to give ourselves the healing and love or whatever we need to let go and move forward.

Unprocessed E-Motions

Believing we can let go of something without fully acknowledging and learning to accept it is, in my opinion, spiritual bypassing. Pretending you don’t feel a certain way or denying your own feelings is gaslighting yourself. Pretending something never happened leads to suppression and repression. This is indeed so much of the root of imbalance, illness and dis-ease we see throughout society.   

Digestive issues…..What are you unable to digest fully, what is eating away at you? 
Tension in the head or jaw…..what thoughts of the mind are you not speaking? 
Chronic pain….what anger, resentment and pain are you holding on to?
Chronic inflammatory skin issues…..what is making your blood boil?  

The above can easily be symptoms of unaddressed emotions and experiences seeking acknowledgment and acceptance. This is how we process, alchemize, transform, whatever is needed for said emotion, feelings or beliefs in order to alchemize and heal.

E-motions are energy in motion and reflect through manifestations of internal and external imbalance until acknowledged and accepted. We cannot heal or move forward if we are in resistance of what is.  

2 phenomenal books I recommend on the subject of how emotions and energy get stuck in the body are The Body Keeps The Score and Your Body Speaks Your Mind.

I was unable to get out of a long period of stagnation, a rut, for years. Only after learning to accept where I was, what I was allowing in my life and the participation in my own discomfort, was I able to find the courage and ability to let go and move forward with trust. 

Celebration of Self

So here I am and I’m happy to say I’m going to Portugal in a few weeks! This trip represents not only my love for travel but also a celebration of the deep acknowledgement and acceptance of all aspects of myself. Aspects that I ignored for many years. The people pleaser, the approval-seeking aspects of myself. Once I fully acknowledged, accepted and interestingly enough, approved of, was alchemized into the current version of my most liberated self.  

This trip is also a celebration of my beloved Tika. Who’s rainbow bridge anniversary is the day before my Gemini birthday. It was her sudden passing that shocked me. Cracked my heart open and began this unraveling process of suppressed and repressed energy. Energy that I had no idea I was holding onto so tightly. Physically, this manifested as burnout and heavy fatigue.

It all makes sense now but for so long I couldn’t figure out why things in my life weren’t progressing in the way I was “visualizing” them to. Visualization doesn’t work if we fail to acknowledge the shadow self.

Healing the Root

True healing, not suppressing and bypassing, is a layered process. It may begin from one experience that catapults us into an unraveling. Once something breaks the seal, the process becomes a fountain of emotional layers that have been waiting to erupt. This often begins cycles of transformative healing and deep shifts of energy if we allow it.

Shock is quite traumatic and what happens with shock is often the opposite of acceptance. It is “I can’t believe this happened.” And because I don’t believe in ever denying how we feel or gaslighting ourselves, it’s ok and part of the process to feel this denial during shocking experiences.

Only through learning to accept, acknowledge and sit with each feeling we experience, even if the experience and emotion is denial, can we then alchemize, shift and heal. I don’t believe in ignoring or judging any of our own feelings that come up and I’ve shared my thoughts around what happens during these times here.

Tika’s greatest gift to me was not only her unconditional love while she was here with me but, as I can only finally say this 2 years later, the unraveling that her passing sent me into. Of course I would rather her still be here with me but that is not reality.

I do not care when people say “she was only a dog.” True gaslighting at its finest. She was one of the most kismet, authentic, love filled decisions and connections I’ve ever had in my life.

And to be honest, at this point in my life, unless an experience or situation is kismet, flowing, connected and based in authenticity, as my experience with Tika was, I’m not interested or available for participation. We have so much more choice in the active participation of creating our lives then we are led to believe. Don’t deny yourself of this.

Acknowledgment and Acceptance

Only after learning to accept every aspect of my life, acknowledging all parts of myself, every version of me, all the shadows I’ve confronted, all the denial, all of the things I pretended were fine when they were not, only then could I move into this most liberated version of self.  

I believe acknowledgement and acceptance are the most foundational steps in healing and nobody can do it for you except you. The only healer in your life is you. Only you can provide acceptance for yourself and learn to alchemize your pain into love or whatever you need to continue on to your next version of self. Nobody else can do this for you. They can guide you and assist you, absolutely, but nobody heals you but you.

We cannot fully let go, manifest, attract, receive, allow, until we acknowledge and accept what has been and what is. Until then, we will live in unprocessed emotions, shadows and the limiting beliefs running our lives. This work is the real glow up.