Letting Go and Moving On
Removing people out of our lives and leaving long standing dynamics and situations that no longer feel good can be an anguish filled experience, yet I promise it is so deeply liberating on the other side. Thankfully I am far into the other side of this. But when I reflect, I have deep compassion for anyone in this middle ground limbo because it’s hard. Learning my own process of letting go and moving on has been the theme of my life over the past year and a half.
I’m not referring to experiences that simply evolve and weren’t what they once used to be. Or friendships that simply grow apart, which is sad and it unfortunately happens. I’m referring to knowing when you need to leave. Seeing and feeling the signs and still coming up against blocks in doing so.
There is so much conditioning around making relationships, jobs, friendships work. Because what if nothing better comes along, be happy with what you have, etc. It is society’s ultimate undercurrent of lack and scarcity. This is also how self-gaslighting starts. We start questioning how we feel due to conditioning. This is often a foundational piece of how and why we can get caught up in friendships, relationships, jobs that do not serve us and wonder how we arrived there to begin with. Ever ignore a red flag? Doesn’t end well.
Do not let conditioning lead you to believe that it is selfish or ungrateful to let go and move on from things that no longer align with your next version of self.
We can absolutely embody deep gratitude for our lives while still moving on from people, places and experiences that no longer feel right. It’s serves nobody to hold onto anything with the undercurrent of lack and scarcity.
Speaking now from the other side, the scarcity, lack and self gaslighting energy only creates a sense of false security. No amount of friends, money or the perfect job will magically change fears or beliefs rooted in our nervous systems and psyche that keep us holding on to things that are no longer aligned for us.
Feeling Into Your Body
Deepening the connection to our nervous systems, alchemizing old belief patterns, thinking less in the logical (conditioned) mind and learning to lead with how we feel is the path. Does this job/person/relationship feel good? Letting go and moving on from what does not feel good assists us in both healing and creating the energetic space to evolve into our next version of self.
Notice it’s never “this relationship/job/person makes me *think* like shit.” It’s this relationship/job/person makes me *feel* like shit. Our body and feelings are always guiding us. It’s when the (conditioned) mind takes over and the static begins. We start second-guessing how we feel and it becomes more challenging to listen, hear and feel within our bodies. Imagine a radio and instead of being tuned in to a particular station or channel, we are stuck in a static frequency limbo, losing clarity and unable to fully hear anything.
Since shedding unaligned dynamics from my life, I’ve become much more fine tuned if you will.
I’ve gained the space and energy to deepen the friendships I do have. Call in much more peaceful and aligned friendships organically and there are no boundary impediments playing out in my life. As a previous people pleaser, there was a massive boundary impediment that was playing out heavily in many areas of my life. This has been my largest realization and ego death to this day.
Only by deeply exploring how people and situations chronically made me feel and then bringing the mind in to explore why I was allowing this in my life (insert discovering my chronic people pleasing) was I then able to fully clear what was no longer aligned for me.
Allowing unaligned people and dynamics to take up space in our lives literally keeps our energy hindered, bound up and unable to receive otherwise. Especially if you are already getting intuitive hits to leave, walk away, move on and you don’t. That intuitive energetic message fills up your energetic space until you do what needs to be done.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, this is such a beautiful and profound realization because our souls and intuition are always guiding us to move away from what is no longer aligned for us. Once we clear what is taking up the space on the lower end of the spectrum, that is when the higher and more expansive intuitive hits can come in but we’ve got to clear the runway first.
It is vital to explore our own responsibility in these experiences. Because ultimately, we have the say of what we allow into our lives. It’s not about blaming anyone, as all experiences are always our teacher. We must take accountability and responsibility for our own behaviors of allowing or nothing will ever change. I personally had to take full responsibility for the fact I had allowed others to imped my boundaries.
As we take accountability and responsibility, we begin to uncover the roots of our belief system. Which create our behaviors that allow the experiences we are a part of to be playing out in our lives.
Only once we understand the root of why things are playing out, can we alchemize these experiences while healing and evolving from them so they cease to continuing repeating throughout our lives. If you do not alchemize the root, the same things will continue to show up in your life. It doesn’t matter if you move, get a new job, a new relationship. Until you clean up your beliefs and take responsibility for your participation, the pattern will repeat.
We must always ask ourselves why am I continuing to participate and give my energy to a person, dynamic or situation that no longer feels right? This question is layered and it is the ultimate gate keeper.
Due to my previous people pleasing tendencies, I was enmeshed in over-giving my energy while the polarity of the then present time experiences were constant energies of taking, needing, histrionics and boundary impediments. Overgiving, lack of boundaries and feeling obligated to hold space for anyone or anything is the ultimate recipe for burnout disaster.
None of this was an overnight process. Learning how to let go and move on is not a linear path and will differ for each of us. It takes time to come back home into our bodies and alchemize the role we’ve played throughout our own lives. Once we come home to ourselves, we can let go and move on not only from the external experiences but we are able to safely let go and move on from who we once were with deep grace and compassion for ourselves.
If your intuition is telling you something is off, it is. Give yourself full permission to let go and move on. I promise your future self will deeply thank you.